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| Ah Bee Seng's Exam Adventures |
| 05.19.05 (4:11 am) [edit] |
Dedication: To all Student sitting for their examinations at this moment...teying to study and maintain their online life...the daily rituals.
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are merely fictional. They are in no way directly connected with the author.Any similarities between the characters and the people around you all...are merely coincidental. And..NO...I dont have a thing against Ah bengs or Ah Sengs or Ah Soons...So deal with it.
And oh..this sadly...is written with a large portion in manglish..so bear with me here ok?
Theres a large portion in localised hokkien..if cannot decipher...call me.
Ah Seng's Exam Adentures
Ah Seng: Wah Lau….kho chek liaw ar! KNN…ah boiy thak liaw kok…si liaw la…
Ah Soon: Aiyah…Geh geh eh…meng kuan sim…after all…last minute…pass juz
liddat wan…no worry.
Ah Seng: Beh tang cho ahn chua le? Choi hamang chaw? KNN…bo kinag eh chew a eh pi pi…hpw to pass? Not like u…so damn heng…tat pai…choi tiok kiang eh…wa chau lu eh…kiok toik pass nia…chaw sai ar?
Ah Soon: No fear. Sure can wan la.
****Fast Forward 2 days****
Ah Seng: Eh! Soon ar…lu cha meh got study? Aiya…wa cha meh pia kaw law ar…. Shud be able to get HD ar!
Ah Soon: Hiaya…kiang lang kong uwa. Shut up la…don make me feel gong ok?
Ah Seng: Eh…ai start liaw…come come…we go in…pia liaw la…
***In the Exam Hall***
8.00am- 11.15 am
Q.A
(Now…Proper English shall be used)
The students start filtering into the hall…
Everyone is seated. Ah Seng is seated next to Ah Soon again.
The paper starts exactly at 8.15am (15 minutes reading time)
Ah Seng slept through the 15 minutes and only started to read his paper. His eyes bulge. Suddenly…the whole room is noisy…
The papers laugh at him…the table is starting to shake him…the chair is trying to move away from the table…his pencils are swearing at him for abusing them.
He scratches his head…takes a sip of water.
Slowly he answers his papers. He comes across the familiar ones…
He smile…puts his pen down to answer it…then he loses it. He mutters “last night only do these things le…why forget liaw…die la”
He tries to concentrate so hard…beads of sweat start appearing on his forehead. Some of it even trickles down his temples. He catches a whiff of his personal wet-dog smell. He knows he’s in deep shit now…he forgot to put on…Rexona…No Sweat Anti Perspirant/ Deodorant .
T
he smell is so strong he starts to hallucinate. The exam pad start to talk to him.
Exam Pad: Ah Seng…Ah Seng…last night …tell you to sleep …not study till forget. But no…you study till you didn’t sleep. Tell you that sleep is good. Look at Soon. He’s so confident…Looking good there…no fear.
Ah Seng: KNN la…you’re a piece of paper…know what? Im human…I know more than you. NAH see…*crumples Exam Pad and Question Sheet*…wahahahh…im stronger than you! What are you now? Hunh? Hunh?
Exam Pad: Who say Im weaker! You’re the weaker and stupid one! You just screwed youself…hahahahahhahaha h! Wahahahahhahah!
Ah Seng feel a tap on his shoulders…He looks up…
He screams. The Evil Exam Pad Master is glaring at him.
Ah Seng passes out. Ah Soon who was watching his friend’s hysterics…start to call the invigilators. Ah Soon request for a seat change…Ah Seng gets a wake up call…
The whole Examination Hall is quiet again. AH seng looks at what was left of his examination Pad and his question papers. He Screams again…and passes put.
***Fast forward to 12.30 the same day***
Ah Seng wakes up in the sick bay. Ah Pui is looking at him. Ah Pui laughs at him…Ah Khiang comes in.
She stares at him and says…
“Why you do this stupid thing? Haiya…The QA lec…say she cannot gif u face laiw…You la! Cannot do don do…Tell you liaw. Don study so hard…last minute…study also can pass sui sui mar. Waffo wanna pia so many weeks before? You see me? I pia only 3 days before…confirm can get HD liaw. You pia one hour before the paper…confirm can marginal pass wad…with donno how many si lang percent confidence levcel summore. Hiaya…”
Ah Seng tries to say something. But the Wet-dog smell catches him again and he goes unconcuois.
Ah Khiang and Ah Pui and Ah Soon(who was outside the sick bay) soon catch the smell. In unison…they say…haiya…no wonder la he go gila…din use Rexona!
The moral of this story:
1) Must use Rexona Deodorant or some other anti perspirant before sitting for exams…best is rexona…confirm cover any smell one.
2) Studying 3 days before an exam qualifies one to get a HD(High Distinction)
3) 2 Day of Studying give s one a Distinction
4) 1 Day confirm get a Credit
5) The exam day itself…Pass…marginal Pass
6) When the wet-dog smell (eh…some people got real bad ones that they can’t control...so do not be mean...and in some cases they do smell of wet dog.) can be detected…better request go toilet…get toilet paper…wipe wipe a bit…then go back…sit for the paper…confirm feel better
7) IF cannot go toilet to clean up…be smart. Think of a beautiful place with hot chicks, and the fresh scent of the warm sea breeze. Then continue with the paper. Don’t allow yourself to die from you own weapon.
8) IF the Wet dog smell is stronger than normal…flap your arms…you want the High Distinction right? It’ll distract everyone else. And do remember to be smart again.
9) Always shutdown the bloody cell/mobile phone. You don’t want some moron calling you in the midst of a panic session and tells you later when you call him/her back…that they called the wrong number. (That for another story...but since were talking about exams…might as well add this in)
10) Please remember that cheating is necessary to gain a pass grade…If you’re lucky…sit next to those smarties.
11) Bribes
are highly commended. Best currency and amount to use. € 100, per paragraph written. Confirm you examiner will thank you and don’t forget to clip together with the answer sheet…the obligator thank you note and the money.
12) If the smarties don let you cheat off them…you know what to do
13) If they still don’t let you cheat off them…call the invigilators during the appers and claim that they are cheating off you. Muahahahha
14) Be smart…day dream during the allocated “reading time”
15) If you know you're gonna die anyways...always use your secret weapon. IT WORKS WONDERS
***Good Luck During Your Exams***
------------------------- ------------------------- ------------------------- ---------------
Wahahahahha...good luck...my destressing session over liaw.
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| MUET over liaw |
| 05.14.05 (6:29 am) [edit] |
MUET is over laiw...had debate compettition today. And i froze. Din know how to sum up the whole session. Im still feeling pissed over that. Screw it, And the guy i wanted to debate agains got thru. AHGRH!!!!!!!!
NM...
Your Birthdate: January 14 |
With a birthday on the 14th of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them.
You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas, and you are also very good at organization and systematizing.
You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel.
You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable.
Your mind is quick, clever and analytical.
A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine, and rebel against it.
You have a tendency to shirk responsibility. |
Your English Skills:
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Spelling: 80% |
Grammar: 60% |
Punctuation: 60% |
Vocabulary: 20% |
wah...now i really feel stupid
You Are Somewhat Honest |
You do tend to tell the truth a lot
But you also stretch the truth on occasion
You figure a little lie isn't a big deal
As long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much! |
see...im honest
Your Element Is Water |
A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted
and serious. That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also
are deep. Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily.
You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others.
You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around
waves. You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little
more peaceful. |
donno whether true o not
owh
top 5 signs that one should stay away from debating
5)The motion looks like its a bunch of doodles
4) The opposing team is telling you what to do at the moment...and tehy are not even your friends
3)Your team mate tells you when and where to accept POIs
2)The side you're on want to kill you the moment you open your mouth...
and
the most obvious sign....
THEY DELETED YOUR NAME OFF THE LIST AND EVEN ISSUED YOU A PERSONAL LETTER TELLING YOU TO STAY THE HELL AWAY AND TO NOT EVEN GET NEAR ANY OF THE OTHER DEBATORS.
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| Global Personality Test thingy |
| 05.05.05 (7:44 am) [edit] |
Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Extraversion | |||||||||| | 40% | | Stability | |||||||||| | 40% | | Orderliness | |||||||||| | 36% | | Empathy | |||||||||| | 36% | | Interdependence | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Intellectual | |||||||||| | 36% | | Mystical | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Artistic | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Religious | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Hedonism | |||||| | 30% | | Materialism | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Narcissism | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Adventurousness | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Work ethic | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Self absorbed | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Conflict seeking | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Need to dominate | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | | Romantic | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Avoidant | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Anti-authority | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Wealth | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Dependency | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Change averse | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Cautiousness | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Individuality | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Sexuality | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Peter pan complex | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Physical security | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Food indulgent | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Histrionic | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Paranoia | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Vanity | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Hypersensitivity | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Female cliche | |||| | 16% | |
| Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
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| Some online personality test thingy |
| 05.05.05 (7:11 am) [edit] |
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate
I feel so so paranoid bout this now.
Your Personalized Assessment Report:48 is still a somewhat decent score, h owever there is definite room for improvement. We will examine the issues that could use work and see what can be done about them. Your friend issues are one blemish on your situation. Difficulties in this area are having an impact on your loneliness, and this is something that needs improvement. Luckily in your case, your family situation is not causing you any troubles. A positive family situation is definitely helpful. An area for improvement is your love life, which is not in terrible shape, but can be improved. Thankfully you do not have a problem with shyness, so pursuing romantic leads and finding friends will not be as difficult as it might have been. You definitely don't have any major insecurity issues holding you back, so your pursuit of elimating loneliness will not be held back by this potential pitfall. Take the Loneliness Quotient Test at Dating Diversions
Your dating personality profile:
Practical - You are a down-to-earth individual who is not impressed with material excess. You care about the stuff of like that really matters.
Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life. | Your date match profile:
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw her out of her shell and get to know what she is all about.
Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape. | Your Top Ten Traits
1. Practical
2. Intellectual
3. Adventurous
4. Athletic
5. Liberal
6. Wealthy/Ambitious
7. Sensual
8. Outgoing
9. Religious
10. Big-Hearted
| Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Practical
2. Shy
3. Athletic
4. Intellectual
5. Religious
6. Adventurous
7. Conservative
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Traditional
10. Sensual
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Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions
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